SAD Sunday's

I don't care much for Sunday's. It seems since I have started working again most Sunday's I spend the day being sad and depressed. Weekends are a time when you are supposed to have fun and have leisure time. There is no such thing as fun in my life. I stop after going a mile a minute M- SAT.  And furthermore I should be cleaning my house on the weekends right? Do I? Not so much. And I do a great job of internally crusifing myself for not doing so. And the bottom line is I do not have a job that I even somewhat look forward to going to on Monday. There's a feeling of dread a big feeling of dread. Because it is not very life affirming. It in fact, drains me. The job itself drains me not to mention being watched over every breathing second by management. Flat out it is a very dysfunctional. You feel like a child and one that will never please the parent.  But right now it is what it is and I just try to feel as grateful as I can because if I did not have the job we would be homeless. Survival. No joy, no sweetness, no fun, just go to work, come home and watch TV go to bed and do it all over again day after day. Though maybe not a reality I feel like I have nothing to look forward to ever. I don't even have a single girlfriend in my life who I can hang with and do girl things which would be fun. I have been in Reno for almost 2 years and I have not done anything here except be in our apartment. When all else fails I can just sleep right? Then I don't have to think about anything. I'm glad I do not drink or take drugs, I am very grateful for that!